where the department stores live and the shops with all the clothes

My relationship with malls is fraught at the best of times. I get antsy in foodcourts. I become unreasonably annoyed by slow-moving family groups. And yet, malls are where the department stores live and the shops with all the clothes that I don't really need to buy but will anyway. And, I'm going to be honest, I do like the vastness and comparative anonymity that one gets in mall toilets. So many stalls to choose from! I'm going to choose the one in the furthest corner so no one can hear me pee!

So let's just say that when it comes to suburban shopping malls, I am ambivalent.

And perhaps that's why I'm struggling to understand the promotional poster I saw at Northlands Mall yesterday.

Yes. That is a woman with a shoe in her mouth.

No. I have no idea what we're supposed to make of this.

I get that in advertising it's common to picture women putting things near their faces. Lipstick for instance, or that weird thing where someone who's just done the laundry buries her face in it and inhales as if fabric softener is some kind of intoxicant. Fair enough, I can understand either of those things being near someone's face.

But let's be clear, the woman pictured is eating a shoe. And she's not even doing it in a sexy way. I realise that the idea that there is a sexy way in which someone might consume their own footwear is a bit a foreign notion. I think what I'm trying to get at is that there's no "only the crumbliest, flakiest chocolate" vibe going on here.

When I look at this, all I get from it is:

"Oh Gog, hah muck wonger do I half do halve dis shoo in mah marf? It tace wike fwoor. I bwahshed my teef for dis?"

At times I would rather take a stiletto to the face than find myself in the mall but somehow I don't think this is the association they were going for.

And the thing is, I think I might be the target market for this poster. I'm a young(ish) woman with disposal income to spend on things like high heels and I'm very much a shoe enthusiast. But just because I like buying and owning impractical footwear doesn't mean that putting a shoe into an image will make me think "oh yes, that's something I'd be interested in". I also don't want everything in my life to be covered in depictions of shoes or shaped like a shoe. You can get "shoe" everything these days. Handbags shaped like shoes, tape dispensers, jewellery holders and various household knick-knacks. Yes, I am a woman. Yes, I like shoes. No, I don't need to be reminded that they exist every waking moment. No, I don't love them enough to want to nom one.

People can sometimes be overwhelmed

There has been a lot of talk this election season, in the presidential campaigns and in the race to choose Indiana's next U.S. senator, about the Constitution and our nation's founding principles. Some of those who most loudly call for a "return to constitutional principles" also view "compromise" as a dirty word. This is ironic, because the suggestion that compromise is bad would have been anathema to our nation's founders. The Constitution itself was the product of grand compromises -- between small and large states, between different interests, and over slavery. Without a willingness to compromise, our great republic -- the world's oldest and most successful democracy -- would have been stillborn.

The most accurate source for the Founders' original intent is the Federalist Papers, a series of arguments written in 1787 and 1788 in support of the Constitution's ratification. These brilliant and timeless documents, penned mostly by James Madison and Alexander Hamilton, are studied to this day in college classrooms, law schools and by Supreme Court justices.

Hamilton, speaking of the importance of compromise, wrote in Federalist No. 85 that "I never expect to see a perfect work from imperfect man. The result of the deliberations of all collective bodies must necessarily be a compound, as well of the errors and prejudices as of the good sense and wisdom of the individuals of whom they are composed." The United States and its republican form of government must "necessarily be a compromise of as many dissimilar interests and inclinations." The Founders, believing that no person or faction had a monopoly on the truth, designed a system to take human nature into account. The checks and balances built into the Constitution require compromise and collaboration for that system to function.

Understanding that people can sometimes be overwhelmed by their passions or their narrow self-interests to the detriment of society as a whole, the Founders intended the Senate to take the long view and be somewhat isolated from the immediate and potentially radical demands of the citizenry. With its six-year terms of office -- longer than that of the president -- the Senate could serve as "a defense to the people against their own temporary errors and delusions," noted Madison in Federalist No. 63.

In words written 225 years ago that arguably presaged today's tea party, Madison went on to observe in No. 63 that "there are particular moments in public affairs when the people, stimulated by some irregular passion, or some illicit advantage, or misled by the artful misrepresentations of interested men, may call for measures which they themselves will afterwards be the most ready to lament and condemn. In these critical moments, how salutary will be the interference of some temperate and respectable body of citizens, in order to check the misguided career and to suspend the blow mediated by the people against themselves, until reason, justice, and truth can regain their authority over the public mind?"

That "temperate and respectable body of citizens" would be the Senate. In his classic book "House and Senate," political scientist Ross Baker notes: "What Madison and the other proponents of the Constitution wanted was, not an unresponsive Senate, but one that responded to popular demands only after careful deliberation." These deliberative senators would be people of great character and broad thinking. In Federalist No. 62, Madison described "the nature of the senatorial trust," which required a "greater extent of information and stability of character."

For 36 years, Dick Lugar embodied the Founders' vision of the Senate, always thinking of the national interest, always looking over the horizon for both Indiana and the United States. Next month, Hoosiers will decide who will replace this elder statesman. Whichever candidate wins the bid to fill Lugar's shoes, be it Joe Donnelly or Richard Mourdock, I hope he will understand the Senate's purpose, be willing to collaborate on occasion with the other party for the greater good of the country, and will thus grow into the role of senator intended by our nation's Founders.

Dwyane Wade announces bizarre shoe deal

Two-time NBA champion Dwyane Wade is signing with Chinese sportswear provider Li-Ning, which is giving the Miami Heat guard his own brand within the company along with plenty of creative and strategic input.

The partnership will be announced Wednesday in Beijing, where Li-Ning is headquartered and where the Heat are visiting for the NBA China Games tour.

Wade told the Associated Press that he expects the Li-Ning deal to continue through at least the remainder of his playing career. Wade wore Converse for his first six seasons, then Jordan Brand for the past three years.

"It was a great nine years, but for me, it was just time to move on," Wade told the AP. "I have certain goals that I want to reach and I felt that I had to leave to reach those. So I'm doing things a little differently. That's how I am, in a sense. I'm not necessarily a status-quo type guy."

Wade's debut in Li-Ning sneakers is expected Thursday, when the Heat play a preseason game in Beijing against the Los Angeles Clippers. He's also hoping to play when the Heat and Clippers meet again in Shanghai on Sunday, and Li-Ning plans to auction off the sneakers from those first two games.

However, what he's wearing this week is not a true unveiling of his brand to be called Wade.

"What you see in China will not be the final product," Wade said.

Wade's line of apparel and footwear is to be available at Li-Ning retail stores and online in China "soon," with a U.S. retail debut expected in 2013. His shoes are expected to sell for about $120.

Wade has worn sneakers with no obvious brand markings in practices in recent days, but he has tweeted several references to "10/10"? the date when the deal will be announced posed recently on a court emblazoned with the phrase "Make The Change," a Li-Ning slogan.

"I picked the best situation for me," Wade said.

Wade becomes the biggest NBA name to endorse the Li-Ning brand since his former Miami teammate Shaquille O'Neal.

"I had to get to know him and have him get to know me," Wade said.

Li-Ning is still trying to gain recognition in the USA. It has around 8,000 retail outlets in China.

"In the U.S., the China brand is not the cool factor," Wade said. "A lot of work has gone into this and a lot of work is going to continue to go into it. For me, it's a challenge. As an athlete, you look forward to that."

Wade is the second Heat player to endorse a Chinese shoe label. Heat forward Shane Battier has worn Peak sneakers since 2006.

"My biggest concern was the language barrier," Battier said. " But all in all, it's been a great experience. It's been fun.

"Wade's deal with Jordan Brand expired Sept. 30. He will have a say in virtually everything about his brand, from design to endorsers.

He's hopeful that he'll be able to wear something close to a final product by Oct. 30, when the Heat open the regular season against Boston.

"I'm not rushing," Wade said. "To me, I want to make sure it's a good product and when people see me, they need to know I'm comfortable with it. I want to make sure people understand that this is a big deal, not only for China, but for me."

A stitch in time saves money

I am what you might call a frustrated crafter. I often feel the creative impulse or desire to make things.

"Wouldn't that look good with a coat of paint," I think of the crappy old chair I bought from the eco shop for a dollar...five years ago.

"I should make everybody's Christmas presents!" I declare in an uncharacterstic surge of enthusiasm.

"It doesn't matter if these pants that I just bought don't fit properly. I'll just pull out the sewing machine and alter them a bit," I blatantly lie to myself.

In a lot of cases, I do actually have the basic tools I'd need to achieve these various tasks and I even have some of the skills required. What I don't have in abundance is time and, more important, patience.

But a trip to the mall to run some errands at the weekend has me thinking I should perhaps try to acquire some.

I've had a pair of shoes for a couple of years that are my fallback option for work attire. They're black, they have a medium high wedge and they go with a lot of things. But I'd worn them down and they needed to be re-soled. It occurred to me that I could just buy another pair but I hadn't seen any around that were quite the same combination of cute, wearable, walkable and multiple-outfit-compatible. And then the shoe repair guy told me it would be $60 to re-sole them. Which is more than I paid for them in the first place.

I have to admit that for a split second I considered telling him not to bother. As it was, I agreed and then went to Farmers only to discover that a similar pair of shoes were for sale with 50 per centt off and for $25 cheaper than what I'd just paid for new soles and heels. I wasn't sure whether to be "Damn! I've spent more money on shoes than I meant to" or "Yay, now I'll have TWO pairs of shoes I can wear!" In the end, though, the joy of new shoes always wins. If it didn't I wouldn't own so many.

I also had a skirt that needed a new zip. Now, unlike the necessaries related to shoe repair, I actually can sew and I have a sewing machine and I know where to procure a new zip. However, my sewing skills are average and when it comes to zips I find them very frustrating and always seem to make them go wonky. Many's the obscenity that has fallen from my lips in the past as the result of a zip gone awry.

Thinking to save myself the stress of attempting my own zip replacement, I dropped the skirt into the Alteration Service at the mall, only to be told that it would cost $33, which is about half what I spent on the skirt in the first place.

So all up the cost of fixing one pair of shoes and a skirt is nearly $100. I find this mind-boggling and I kind of hate that unlike the one our parents and grandparents grew up in, ours is a culture that practically begs you to throw things away when there's still plenty of use left in them.

Now, I don't imagine I'll ever have the wherewithal to attempt to cobble my own shoes, but damn it, I bloody can do my own zips. Because frustration be damned, I now have the motivating power of spite at my behest. Spiteful thrift, in fact. I'm like the Nazis with the Ark of the Covenant - potentially invincible, and yes, I do imagine that at some point in proceedings, probably after I've had to unpick something for the third time, my face will go a bit like this.

But as Face-melty God is my witness, I'm not going to wuss out on zips anymore, nor hems neither.

What DIY, craft or sewing project is the fly in your ointment? At what point is something so frustrating and time consuming that you'll happily pay someone else to do it? And does it grate on you when you know are capable of doing it yourself much more cheaply?

Canadian Thanksgiving has Stores Hopping

Thanksgiving is still a month and a half away in the United States, but in Canada it is already here.

The tasteful holiday falls on Monday, so many packed up and headed south of the border for the weekend to enjoy the sights and sounds of Fargo.

Stores at West Acres Shopping Center were not even open, but that did not stop curious shoppers like Shelley Kuzyk from getting a peek at what stores had to offer.

"I'm just gonna see if I can buy some clothes," says Kuzyk.

She and her husband Victor are not new to the area. They have been traveling from Winnipeg to celebrate their Thanksgiving holiday in Fargo for the past three years.

"When you're caught up in the day-to-day routine of life, there's nothing like a break," says Victor.

Not only is Fargo a Canadian shopper's paradise, but stores also look forward to this time of year because they see a significant increase in sales. For some it could be a 20 to 30 percent increase.

Tradehome Shoes store manager Jon Skudlarek says, "Because their limits went from $400 for 48 hours to $800 now, it seems like they come down and really just spend a lot more."

Skudlarek says every Canadian holiday sometimes means more to his store than other holidays, since so many people make the trip.

"Overall prices down here on shoes a lot of times are less than in Canada," he says.

Though to those like the Kuzyk's, money does not make a big difference. "You can't start thinking about the price. If you wanna do it, you just go and do it," says Shelley.

Victor says, "We make it an event for us to celebrate the fall season and approaching winter."

Stores at West Acres Shopping Center say they are looking forward to the U.S. Thanksgiving next. That is because Black Friday shopping will actually begin at 11 p.m. on Thanksgiving Day.

The salesman was lacing up my shoes

Chris Economaki, a journalist regarded as the authoritative voice in motorsports for decades, died Friday. He was 91.

National Speed Sport News, where Economaki worked as an editor for more than 60 years, announced his death Friday. It did not release a cause of death. Economaki was known as the "Dean of American Motorsports Journalism," and worked in TV for more than 40 years with stints at ABC, CBS and ESPN. He was part of ABC's first telecast from Daytona International Speedway in 1961.

His love of motorsports blossomed as a child and he sold copies of National Speed Sport News as a teenager.

"Many people consider Chris the greatest motorsports journalist of all time," NASCAR chairman Brian France said. "He was, indeed, `The Dean.' Chris was a fixture for years at NASCAR events, and played a huge role in growing NASCAR's popularity."

Economaki, who switched from ABC to CBS in 1984, watched stock car racing branch out from its Southern roots to become a national attraction. The watershed year, he said, was 1984.

"That was the year ABC did the closing ceremonies at the Winter Olympics in Sarajevo at the same time CBS was showing the Daytona 500 - and Daytona got the higher rating," Economaki said in the 1980s.

"It was also the year that President Reagan came to the Firecracker 400 and said, `Gentlemen, start your engines.' And the next day, there was a picture of him next to Richard Petty on the front page of The New York Times. After that, it seemed a lot of people discovered stock car racing."

Economaki told The Associated Press in 1991 that even if fans didn't recognize his face out in public, they sure knew him by the sound of his voice.

"I do have a distinctive voice. And it's nice to know that it registered somewhere along the line," he said.

"I remember I was getting a pair of shoes in Des Moines, Iowa, one time. The salesman was lacing up my shoes, and I'm looking at the bald spot on the back of his head, and he asks: `Aren't you on TV?' This guy's got his nose six inches from the floor and asks my shoes if I'm on TV. He doesn't recognize me, but he recognizes my voice."

In 2006, the Trackside Conference Room at the Indianapolis Motor Speedway Media Center was renamed the Economaki Press Conference Room in his honor.

Four-time Indianapolis 500 winner A.J. Foyt remembered when Economaki pegged him early in his career as one of racing's next big stars.

"He saw the sport grow to where it is today and how it grew, including NASCAR," Foyt said. "And he contributed to that growth. I'd say when he was in his heyday of writing that more people would read his column than any column that's been written today by far. I know I did."

At Dover International Speedways, drivers remembered Economaki as a man who shaped the way they loved the sport.

"Speed Sport News is something that I read religiously," four-time Cup champion Jeff Gordon said. "Chris did a lot for that newspaper and for motorsports and he was passionate about all of it. The last time I saw him was earlier this year and, still, that is all he thought about was racing. And he cared so much about what was happening in this sport and wanted to make a difference and wanted to get those stories out there."

I acted rather hastily on impulse

Spiders are like scarves: I like the idea behind them, but I don’t want one around my neck.

I appreciate that they can be used for natural pest control. However, what I object to is the fact that they look as if they come from Mars and have blood made of liquid evil. I’m also not pleased to find them crashing in my apartment.

Most of the little moochers have the decency to either keep out of sight or stand still for weeks on end until we believe that they are dead.

Early one morning, one spider forgot his place and the order of things inside the apartment.

It was about five in the morning when I saw something crawling across the back of the couch while I was reading for class. There is a certain primitive impulse in many people to move away from black things moving across the back of the couch in a room they are supposed to be alone in. I acted rather hastily on impulse.

I looked to see what it was, but couldn’t find it on the back of the couch until my face was within jumping distance. I decided to give it space for a while, and after 15 minutes I came back to look for it again. It was gone.

I picked up my jacket from the arm of the couch only to find that the spider had crawled inside. It fell out, landed in between my shoes, and crawled inside the left sneaker. It was like watching from the shore as a ship burned in the middle of a storm at sea. It was as if I were the only person in the audience of a circus with rabid tigers and plague infected clowns blocking the exits of the tent.

It was the most helpless feeling.

Six hours later I was in Rhetorical Theory in my rain boots, plotting to freeze the plastic bag that held my spider-infected shoe when I got home. Before I could carry out my plan, my roommate intervened on behalf of the spider and promised she would remove it for me.

Several days later, she vacuumed out the inside of my shoe. The spider was never seen again and is believed to be currently at large in my apartment. My roommate has affectionately given him the code name “Freud.”

The spiders must learn their place. It’s either out the door or under my shoe, not inside.

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